From Pimply Prose to Perfect Peace

Perception

A poem by Miriam E. Lind (c) 2014

When you are a cherry-cheeked schoolgirl

Bouncing on crooked knees during daily circle time

And they ask you:

“What does the letter A stand for?”

Your curious eyes scan crayola walls and

Your spongy brain soaks up every image and

Your self-assured voice quickly blurts out loud

A is for “Apple” and B is for “Bat!!!”     

When you are a pimple-faced highschooler

Hiding behind classroom walls and in library books

And they ask you:

“What does the letter A stand for?”

Your sarcastic eyes roll back into your head and

Your self-absorbed brain assumes that they mock and

Your whisper is “Apple” but your insides scream

A is for “Acne” and B is for “Butter face!!”

This week in “Made to Crave”, I was struck by two chapters strictly devoted to self-image. Between Chapter 7 (I’m Not Defined by the Numbers) and Chapter 8 (Making Peace with the Realities of My Body), I found myself examining the deep-dark secrets of my physical insecurities.

Of course there’s the hair – flat and straight…refusing to hold volume or sport any kind of stylistic change.

And then there’s the BLT – yeah…that’s right. The Big Left Titty. I apologize for the vulgarity but it’s simply true. Most girls have a “bigger one”…mine is just a LOT bigger. So between the humiliation of bra-shopping or attempts to wear strapless ANYTHING…the BLT warrants its crass nickname.

But if I’m really honest…

All the way back from high school

My least favorite feature has been and still is…my A-C-N-E.

I remember psychoanalyzing every picture for traces of pimples

And trialing several types of makeup in hopes of covering the carnage

And praying…literally praying!...that the zits clear before gray hair sets in 

(“Seriously God…I don’t DESERVE that double wammy!!!)

Needless to say, I could relate to Lisa’s “Tankle” story. It made me laugh, but it also made me realize that I judge myself more than I would judge anyone else. 

And…at least when it comes to appearance…I judge myself much, MUCH more harshly than Christ.

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/113504853082480950/

Dear God, thank you for creating me in your image. Help me to see my life...and even my body…through the lens of your all-encompassing Grace. I need neither the naivety of grade school youth nor the spitefulness of high school. Grant me fresh eyes and a renewed mind. Don’t allow me to be contented with complacency or to lie-still in laziness. I need your strength. I need your power. I need you.

Jesus…my sweet Jesus who knows the weakness of flesh and the power of victory…give me strength to walk this journey. For it is not about size. It is not about beauty. It is not about self-exploration or even self-improvement. You have placed this path before me to draw me closer to your heart. You are calling me to make a conscious and consistent choice to follow you - even with things that seem too little…and even with things that seem too hard. Grant me your power. Grant me your peace. In Christ’s heavenly name – Amen

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