Dear Reader (how breakDOWN led to BreakTHROUGH)

To the 43,000+ "Made To Crave" participants ~

You.

          Yes YOU. 

                    Who signed up for this study with a bit of hesitation.

                              Who wondered if this group would make any real difference.

                                        Who shared your hopes and dreams

                                         over Facebook, twitter, and blogs.

Our struggles are different - but our hearts are the same. Let me give you some insight on mine. 

I was married at 21. The saying in college was "ring by spring" of your senior year. Being a notorious overachiever, I graduated in 3 years and got married the following summer.

I hope there's no misunderstanding. The godly man I married was/is wonderful. We are deeply in love and I wouldn't change a thing about him. It's just that being married so young and seeming to have it "all together"…well, it can be a catch 22.

See, my family of origin is very broken. Neither of my siblings graduated high school. Both of them have struggled with substance abuse. Both of them have been in and out of broken relationships. And then there’s me…with a loving husband, a master's degree, a professional job, a steady income, a nice home... It’s hard not to compare. And it’s easy to assume I either have no struggles or that…at the least…I shouldn't complain about them!!

For 6 years – that worked out pretty well. Life was great. I felt happy. I felt whole. And I praised God for His Goodness.

Within 6 months – it all changed. In 2012, I lost two grandparents – and my first child. It turned my life upside down.  

I tried to praise God through the trials

I tried to find meaning in the suffering

I tried to hold up hope for another baby

But…time…ticked..on.

Months turned into years and I found myself questioning God’s silencing. Doubting God’s faithful. Growing anxious. Growing e-n-v-i-o-u-s.

Because as I waited...

                    As I WANTED

                                        Over 20 babies were born. 

You might think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. That's the truth...without even stopping to think or count. And it’s not that I wasn’t happy for other people. Time has taught me that you can easily feel two emotions at once. Peace and pain are not exclusive. Joy and sorrow are not contradictions. Because when you look at a woman growing with child – or – you watch a newborn baby sleeping – or – you press their silky skin against your cheek…you cannot help but smile! Babies are beauty and hope! It's just that, as those months rolled into years, the news of more expecting friends started to cut deeper and deeper. Each coworker, each church-mate, and eventually even random stranger

...their bliss fueled my h-e-a-r-t-a-c-h-e...

That’s when I started to REALLY eat.

It’s just like Lysa said – food is the perfect idol for a Christian woman. Who was going to say anything?! It’s just a second bowl of pasta. It’s just an extra slice of cake. With time, I noticed my portions were larger than most people's and proceeded to eat in secret. Jerky on the drive home. Chips hidden in the underwear drawer.

But because the underlying agony was so raw…

And my binging behavior inflicted such deep shame....

And I continued to (wrongfully) compared myself with those “so-happy” friends...

and those “so-broken” siblings…

I suffered in silence. 

This blog and the overall "Made to Crave" experience is the first time…in nearly TWO years…that I am confronting my emotions, confessing my actions, and praying for change.

It was hard at first to face the reality. Harder still to hope for change. I did not feel #EMPOWERED…I felt overwhelmed. But as I sifted through blog posts and facebook comments, I realized that I was not the only one. So many other people shared stories of heartache and hopelessness. But as these 43,00+ people...mostly strangers...lifted their eyes to heaven and held each other in prayer, a community formed. And out of this broken body, a single voice arose. They were all professing...

"I AM empowered!!"

"We CAN change!!"

“We WILL BE overcomers”

If you hear something enough, you start to believe it. And although I’m afraid to fail…afraid to be vulnerable…afraid to be judged – I finally feel #EMPOWERED. I’m holding fast to my #DETERMINATION!!

"WE were made for more than excuses and vicious cycles.

WE can taste success. WE can experience truth.

WE can choose to stay on the path of hard work and perseverance.

WE can build one success on top of another.

WE can keep "MADE FOR MORE" 

at the top of our minds and on the tips of our tongues.

And our eating habits can be totally transformed

as we keep asking, embrace our true identify,

find the deeper reason for claiming that identify,

and operate in the hope and power that's like no other".
Lysa Terkeurst, Made To Crave

This week...I moved from beakDOWN to breakTHROUGH!!! My excuses are OVERRULED and I'm learning that this is less about will power...more about His power. 

So reader and friend...

          

          Cheerleader and companion....

                    Thank you!

                              Yes YOU.

                                       For partnering in His purpose.

                              

                                                  For sharing in my journey. 

                             

With love,

~ Miriam E. Lind

P.S.  I'VE SAID NO TO A HALF OPENED BAG OF CRUNCHER BBQ CHIPS....FOR FOUR DAYS IN A ROW!!! 

P.P.S. THIS WAS THE BREAK-ROOM TABLE AT WORK THIS WEEK....I RESISTED IT ALL!! PRAISE JESUS!!

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